For thetenspot: Ten things that make your day better!

1. The day’s first cup of coffee. Objectively, I get that it’s not about the taste. No way is it about the taste. I always overfill my pot, and it winds up coming out bitter and grainy. Cream and sugar are a waste of time, because they never help, so I just suck it up and drink my homemade sludge. But five minutes after I’m done, the caffeine is going through my system, and I feel like I might be able to get through a day of murders and personal pineapples.

2. Those rare moments where Crews is quiet. Not the crazy, frenzied kind of quiet like I.A.D. was moving in on him. That silence was worse than Crews’ longest rants all put together. No, I’m talking about the mornings where Charlie declares that it’s “Contemplation Day”. Contemplation apparently involves silence, sometimes with low-level humming.

I wonder what exactly Crews is contemplating (the wife dead on a staircase, a man in the trunk of his car, dig a hole, fill it up, or maybe just the price of oranges), but it’s probably best for the both of us that I don’t know.

3. I’d say arresting someone guilty, but these days I wonder about that. He makes me wonder about that.

4. Yeah-

All I’ve got is the three.

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There's still glue on my dashboard.